One of the hardest things about life transitions is leaving the comfort of what’s known. As we drift further out of alignment and by alignment I mean physical, mental and spiritual alignment, our discomfort grows. Still, we continue to hold onto that relationship, that job, or friendship knowing it’s no longer serving us. I recently learned that a lobster shell doesn’t grow. The lobster, that gelatinous lobster body continues to grow and its shell gets tighter and more uncomfortable until the discomfort is so great it must hide under a rock and shed its shell and remain there until a shell that fits properly is created. For growth and transformation to happen there is going to be discomfort. We must learn to overcome the fear of the unknown and make a change. Growth and evolution is the natural progression of life.
To step fully into our greatness we need to have the courage to create change. How many people stay in a relationship they have long outgrown? They become trapped in a pattern of discontent and resentment which manifests in stress, insomnia, physical disease, why, because the energy of that resentment and anger and discontent has to go somewhere and it releases right into the body. At some point in the journey we must learn to honor ourselves.
Avoidance is such a common go to when we are in a situation that doesn’t align with who we are. Maybe it’s time to ask yourself, how is this situation going to change for the better by staying for another 5, 10 or 15 years? The only way a bad situation is going to change is by going deep and looking at the truth about what is happening for you, what is being triggered in you in this circumstance, what you are going to do about it? When we allow fear to control us and hold us hostage, we want so badly to listen to the voice inside telling us to play it safe, that it’s dangerous to make a change, it’s better to stay small and in the box than step out into the unknown.
How many beautiful dreams die within us because we choose to allow fear to dictate the terms? Fear says “you are not good enough, you will fail, what will everyone think, or you are a loser”. It’s so much easier to lose ourselves in that glass of wine or shot of vodka, the Xanax or whatever else we are using to avoid the truth and maintain the lie that everything is great. So how do we come back to ourselves? Some of us don’t even know who we are because we have spent a lifetime being the person everyone else expected us to be.
The first step towards transformation is to realize we always have a choice. We have the ability to do something that scares us in order to honor our truth. This is important because there is an energetic echo to every thought and action we take in our life and whatever we are sending out is coming right back. So, every action we take is going to bring us either into alignment with who we are or take us away from who we are. Is going into the kitchen and eating all the carbs or sugar in the pantry aligning with who you are? Is drinking a bottle of a wine a night aligning with who you are? Is pretending you are happy aligning with who you are? Is being sick all the time and enjoying the attention it brings aligning with who you really are? Is being unkind because you are jealous aligning with who you are? We can choose to be our authentic self. We can choose TRUTH. Every day is an opportunity to be honest and change our behavior. Once we start down that path of alignment, it allows for things that resonate with us to come into our life. Make room for the right people, jobs, or experiences to come in. Release the things that don’t resonate and have been parked and taking up space.
It’s time to go deep. It’s time to create joy in life and by that I don’t mean temporary joy created by addictive behaviors like shopping, gambling, or drinking. I am talking about pure soul joy created by doing things that you love. It could be gardening, or baking, climbing mountains, volunteering, or spending time with your kids. When you find something that brings you joy, that is where to start. That is where the first step back to the beautiful magnificent self happens. Have the confidence to move in the direction of your dreams, if that seems too big, just begin by taking the first step. Release what no longer serves you, allow the people, the jobs, the positive situations to come in. Be kind to yourself, crawl under a rock for awhile. It is time to make room!