In my coaching practice I am finding that fear is a huge barrier in life. Fear of not knowing the outcome, fear of failure, fear of judgment, and fear of losing in the game of life holds us down like a lead weight tied to our ankles. Our nose, just at the surface of the water allows us to breathe there, but only just surviving on the small sips of air we take in. This state of being feels normal. We have never actually cut the anchor holding us down to near drowning and we don’t want to, imagine what could happen. We tell ourselves to play it safe. I’ll just stay in this toxic job environment because I need the paycheck or I’ll just stay exactly where I am in life because it’s just easier to wash rinse repeat the dysfunction and know exactly what the shit outcome is going to be rather than step into my greatness.
Fear can look like so many things. Fear shows up as jealousy. It shows up as anger. It shows up as a ruthless climb to the top stepping on everyone in the way. It shows up as a fake smile while trying to conform. We’ve forgotten that who we are matters more than anything, and fear is keeping us from our untapped potential.
Fear takes us down the rabbit hole into the darkness. I spent a lot of energy working for the approval of others. I wanted to hear those words “you are amazing”. Mostly, I heard nothing at all. I just heard silence, which just made me want to try harder to gain approval from people, especially people who didn’t matter. I just wanted to be seen for who I was. I wanted to be acknowledged for being kind, for making a difference in people’s lives. I wanted people to show up for me. I wanted them to hand me that recognition prize. I realized after decades of living like this that some people can’t show up for you. They are too busy living their lives, chasing their illusions of success, and trying so hard to conform to their perceptions of what everyone wants for them, they can’t peek over the fence and say “wow, you are doing incredible things over there”. The irony of it has not escaped me. At some point, I decided to be fearless. I got tired of hiding my true self and being held under water. I got tired of not being seen.
I stopped looking out there for love and I started looking inside myself for answers. Who was I really? Was I really a failure? Was I really all the things I felt people perceived me to be? Was I really that bad of a mom to my kids? Was it true? Was my worth really determined by my income or external accomplishments? The answer is HELL NO! On the journey back to myself I realized who I was. I am a mother who loves her husband and children unconditionally. I am a friend who will dry your tears and show you how beautiful you are by holding up a huge mirror. That mirror never lies, it tells the truth about how beautiful you are! I have spiritual gifts that include being extremely intuitive. I am clairaudient which means I hear intuitive messages about people and situations, claircognizant which is the intuitive ability of clear-knowingness; I’m clairsentient which means I feel the emotional states of others. All of these gifts allow me to help people in my Life Coaching business. We don’t spend weeks hashing out what your issue is. I listen to you and know almost instantly what the issue is and my intuition moves you towards solutions very quickly. I am a Marconics Energy Practitioner, which means I work with energy and raise your vibration and help you to release karmic debris. I help to bring you into alignment emotionally and spiritually with your higher self. That is who I am and I don’t fit neatly into any category or box unless perhaps it’s labeled weird or “out there”.
What does any of this have to do with fear? People label me because of fear. They don’t understand my gifts or they know who I was and not who I’ve become. I didn’t openly acknowledge these gifts because they were not considered “normal”. I didn’t want to step into my power and say this is who I am and what I do because of what people would think. What would people say? Eventually I realized all that mattered was being in service to humanity. I relieve people’s suffering and help them through transitions and bring them into alignment with their authentic selves. This is my calling. I am who I am and I felt this urgent need to own that and BE in alignment with my truth. I had to release the fears. I don’t need to hide anymore, because the people who don’t understand me do not have a place in my life. If you aren’t interested in being kind, if you are more interested in puckering your lips and judging it’s time for us to part ways. Releasing the people who judge creates space for people who support and love you. Ask yourself, what truth are you hiding? What fear is holding you back? It takes courage to own your truth. It takes courage to stop being compliant and risk being called crazy because it hurts when people roll their eyes, or friends literally stop talking to you for no reason other than the fact that you are actually stepping into your greatness. The feeling being triggered in others as you step into your power is a truth that they have failed to face. The truth that they aren’t living their dreams. They are not harnessing their power. Absolute MAGIC happens when you unleash that beautiful soul truth of who you are. Cut that chain holding you under! Break the surface of the water and BREATHE, LIVE, and THRIVE!