For too long we have been stuck in fear frequencies, meaning a constant state of worry and anxiety. We’ve all gone down that road where a what if scenario ends up as the worst-case outcome. A perfect example of that is a recent motorcycle crash my son was involved in. When I was first called by a bystander and witness to the accident I knew he was dead. I was told he was laying lifeless at an intersection and immediately I felt a constriction in my heart and felt like I was punched in the stomach followed by pretty much hysteria. Then, I learned he was alive, and I was grateful, but we didn’t yet know the extent of the injuries. I was sitting in the ICU waiting room while they worked on him in ER and I was going deep. My train of thought went something like this, OMG, he is paralyzed, he’ll never walk again, he is brain dead, he’s a vegetable, he’ll be living me with me forever! How am I going to take care of him? There goes our future, our savings account, our life! In literally 2 minutes, I had weighed every possible tragic outcome and how it was going to impact our lives forever and I hadn’t even received the diagnosis. I was a nervous wreck trying not to freak out but totally freaking out. As luck would have it, he was going to be fine. It ended up being a long painful recovery, but no permanent damage, lots of pins and screws. Lots of pain. It turned out to be the best possible out come under the circumstances. I spent all that wasted emotional energy for nothing.
We have all been paralyzed by what if scenarios and worry. We’ve made decisions from a place of fear rather than trusting in positive outcomes. Fear is a dream killer. What will people think? What will happen if I fail? What if we don’t measure up as a family? What if that benign tumor is cancerous? What if my kid doesn’t graduate high school? What if this plane crashes? What if I get stuck in the elevator? What if I never find someone to love me? There are a million variations of panic inducing scenarios and if you are a parent, multiply that to infinity. As a parent, from the moment your little darling is an embryo the worrying begins. What does it mean for us when we allow our imaginations to run wild? A lot of anxiety is created mentally and physically. Negative emotions create roots so pervasive and deep in our minds we begin free falling. We are unable to move forward. Sometimes, we stop living because the risk is too great. Sometimes we keep the people we love from pursuing their dreams because our fear of their failure is just too much for us to handle.
A hundred percent of the time, responding to a situation from the space of Jealousy, anger, or fear has negative consequences. We don’t show up as the highest version of ourselves, we hurt people, we hurt ourselves. We can be judgmental, vindictive, selfish and mean. We talk ourselves out of our dreams. How long can we go on chasing our tail and talking ourselves out of living our best life because of fear? When will we see that we attract what we put out in the universe? Fear doesn’t keep us safe. Fear keeps us small and insignificant. Fear keeps us from getting on a plane taking us to our dream destination. Fear leaves our relationships in ruins. Fear creates regret because looking back we realize we chose to play it safe, we chose to hurt someone we love because we were suffering. Maybe it’s time to step away from the what if fear frequency and respond in love to every situation.
Love is patience. It’s the voice saying I know this hard and you are suffering because of the behavior of someone else, but love them anyway. You can love people and let them go. You can love someone as they go through tough times and trust they have the strength to rise up and step into their light. Love is faith that the right thing is going to come along right on time. Love is the antithesis of fear. Love says go ahead and change jobs, or start a business, or let your kid take the car because just as many things can go right as can go wrong. Love allows you to take risks knowing that regardless of what happens you’ll still be standing. It’s knowing that you can overcome any obstacle or negative experience because you have done so up to this point. Living from your heart space is knowing compassion and kindness intimately in the face of adversity and hurtful behavior directed at you, sometimes from your relatives and friends. Love is believing in yourself and knowing you hold the key to the magic door behind which your dreams lie. Love holds space for others and allows them to see there is another way to be, there is another way to live. Love isn’t about preaching or forcing, it’s is about being and allowing.
Love is saying I honor you for where you are on your journey even if we disagree. Love is focusing on unity and humanity rather than “success” because yes, you may have more, but spiritually you have less. You may have more clients, more money, more homes and cars, but that doesn’t make you a better human being. The core of who we are is the soul housed in our bodies and that is the true equalizer here. We are all human beings regardless of the color of our skin, our sexual orientation, our religious or spiritual beliefs or lack thereof. We are all interconnected and our behavior whether you believe it or not ripples out and affects the whole. Please be mindful of the direction of your thoughts. Choose love over fear.