I’ve had few instances where I thought things were going to go one way, but they didn’t quite turn out like I thought they would. On one occasion my husband took my kids snowboarding so I had the house to myself for 5 days. It was bliss! I planned a perfect spa day with a massage, champagne, the works and asked a couple of friends if they wanted to go to dinner. They said that would be great and invited me to join them for an evening hike. It sounded perfect so I met them at the trail head with my cute tennis track suit on expecting to be out for a quick sunset hike then back for a few beers and delicious meal.
I knew I was in trouble when every person there looked like they were straight out of an REI catalog. They had their trail shoes, their walking sticks, their backpacks with water and their head lamps. My girlfriend brought me a headlamp in case I forgot mine (I don’t own one)! We set off. The most extensive exercise for me to date had included a 5 mile walk around a flat lake. So we started our hike to nowhere and everywhere. The leader thought it would fun to go off the trail after about an hour or so, let me add that they hike fast. I’m kind of a let’s take in the scenery hiker and rest. They were all business. One hour went by, two hours went by, my head lamp burned out, I was out in the dark following the person in front of me through the brush. I was thinking about snakes, coyotes, mountain lions. Who knew what could eat me out there. I started getting tired. Three hours goes by and we’re clearly lost. I want to cry. I’m hungry, I’m NOT having fun! We are going up and down and all around in the dark, I saw the Hwy off in the distance so I knew at the very least I could hitchhike home if I had to. Everyone was in a great mood. I was literally praying I didn’t break an ankle and get medivacked out of there. I was bargaining with GOD (I’m not religious) to just get me back to my car without injury. Finally, after 4 hours, we found our way back into a neighborhood and make it to our vehicles. It was 9:00 at night. All the bliss of my spa day has evaporated and I was sore from head to toe.
Another experience happened a few years ago. My neighbor had invited me to a yoga class. I had been taking a great restorative yoga class at my gym and I loved it, it was like napping on these huge bolsters and stretching for an hour. I’m like a restorative yoga PRO! I had a few reservations about the length of the class. It was an hour and a half, which should have been my first red flag. I asked her if she thought I could handle it. She was like, sure you can, you’re in great shape (looks can be deceiving). Off we went. First of all it was hot, like really hot in the studio. I was sweating as I lay quietly on my mat waiting for class to start. The teacher was an arrogant Yogi, you know the one, he had the man bun and the attitude like I’m all that! Class began. Not only was it hot yoga which I wasn’t used to, it was sonic hot yoga which means it moved at sonic speed. After an hour I felt like I was going to pass out or throw up or both. I had to get out of there. I started the crawl of shame over all the lulu lemon clad women making my way to the front door. I went to the bathroom and my mascara had run down my face like a sad clown. I looked like a hot mess. I had raccoon eyes and sweat had plastered my hair to my head. I hid in the bathroom for about 10 minutes hoping class would be over when I went back. NO LUCK! I was never so happy to get out of a yoga class!
My point is, sometimes we get in way over our heads in life. We sign up for something that sounds like a great idea at the time until we are in it and it sucks. We want to exit but there is no way out without humiliating ourselves or being lost in the wilderness forever, so we are forced to hang in there. Life is like that. We get ourselves into sticky situations or relationships or jobs that require some survival skills. No one wants to be judged. No one wants to look like a fool or give up. I encourage you to stand in your truth. Know when to tap out if you must. Remove the judgment around the situation and be kind to yourself. My attitude is if I gave it my best shot, that’s good enough. We always have a choice, honor yourself and your truth.