I can think of numerous times in my life where I was looking to my left and right comparing myself and somehow falling short of the people around me. My insecurities kept me feeling vulnerable and I just wanted what everyone else had. I wanted to be tall and thin. I wanted to be blonde. I wanted a huge house on the top of the hill and the lake house to go with it. I defined myself by everything external forgetting the beautiful soul that lived inside of me, which was the true measure of my value and worth. I was programmed to conform and to blend in rather than be myself and stand out. I didn’t like drawing attention to myself and then something radical happened. I started a slow and arduous journey back to me.
It was called an awakening meaning I became aware of who I am and refused to apologize for my truth or look like everyone around me. I started to question everything I was shown to be true from my values, my beliefs, my choices in life, and I started to realize so many of the things I had been looking for weren’t things that even resonated with me to begin with. All this time I had been comparing myself to other’s achievements and vacations and stuff rather than looking at the depth and beauty of what lay within me. The picture I was viewing often masked many secrets held close to the heart by others trying to fit in and conform. Those glossy exteriors covered empty insecure shells of people living so far from their truth they couldn’t recognize it if they tried. People were masking their pain with cocktails, and vacations and perfectly scripted photos on Facebook. I wondered who they were really, behind closed doors.
We are trained from an early age to blend in. We sit in an orderly fashion in school and want to wear what everyone else is wearing, be like everyone else, and not be the weird kid who dresses differently or has special needs or identifies with different genders. We are always looking to our left and right making sure we are aligned with the pack rather than aligning with our own personal truth. What a tragedy that I wasted so many years unconsciously denying who I am. I am so glad I found myself, my voice, my truth in time to help others wake up to theirs.
The more aligned I became with my highest self, the more empowered I became. The doubts melted away. My mental, emotional and spiritual health became aligned and I now feel complete. No more pretending to be something I’m not. No more comparing myself to those around me. No need to convince anyone of anything around my beliefs or my strength or success or power. I need only to stand in my truth and move, forging a path that others can follow to find their authentic self. I struggled, I crawled back from some extremely dark places to shine a light and assist people who want to find their voice, and authentic self and their power. The only voice and truth we should all follow is our own. We must use full discernment about everything coming into our life whether it’s religious doctrine and dogma, food, lifestyle choices, parenting, career, relationships. Everything should be chosen using our internal compass. We don’t need the opinion of anyone, not our friends, not our political or religious leaders, no one can tell us what to believe or the path to follow. The choice is ours to make.
We have come into this life to be individuals. We have come to bear witness and participate in the rise of humanity, not be controlled by our devices and the media. We have been programmed constantly by the news we are fed on T.V., social media, and in our social circles as well. Somewhere the beauty of the individual has been lost. Our souls have been numbed by the need to conform, mindless drones driving to jobs we hate settling for less than we deserve. I honor those who have chosen to follow their truth and get off the hamster wheel. The artists, the inventors, the athletes, the musicians, the entrepreneurs and many others that follow the beat and rhythm of their heart. They did not allow the critics to stop them. They followed their heart and knew who they came here to be. It took me decades to join their ranks and openly state who I am.
When I first came out of the spiritual closet, meaning I told my family members I was on a spiritual path, that I had psychic abilities coming online, my parents wanted to immediately fly out here and put me in a psych ward. They freaked out. My consciousness was expanding, and I was having experiences I couldn’t explain. I was tired of pretending to be who people wanted me to be. I just wanted to be myself. I wanted to be able to talk about who I am without being judged, but the judgment was swift and harsh. The hushed tones and side glances not to mention phone calls to my husband asking if I had lost my mind were incredibly hurtful.
As an energy practitioner, I understand that everything is energy. It’s all frequency. Just as a dog hears a whistle human ears can’t hear, I can tune into frequencies most people can’t (or aren’t aware of how to) tap into. Their consciousness does not allow it because they are asleep. The bandwidth or frequency they live in does not resonate or match mine. They are listening to a.m. radio frequency and I’m listening and existing in satellite frequencies. Although both coexist, one doesn’t mix with the other. What they see and know to be true is absolute for them, however what I see and know to be true is absolute and true for me, even if they are different truths. No one is wrong, everyone is right. I encourage you to listen to your heart, it is waiting patiently for you. Your soul beats every moment awaiting your return.