As we travel on our personal journey, as we shift and change we find people begin to fall away. I was saddened by this at first as I had long term friendships fall away, and there was a bit of mourning on my part. Nothing significant happened between these friends and I, but I was changing, my personal beliefs and lifestyle were changing. As my frequency and vibration changed, it wasn’t a match any more with some people in my life. One frequency wasn’t better than another, we were just living in completely different bandwidths so to speak. We are all here having our own human experience. I compare it to radio waves, where some are listening to AM radio and some to satellite radio. As we wake up and come more fully into alignment with our truth and our human experience begins to shift, some may choose to delay this process and hold onto old programming and realities. As each person comes into their own, the codependency falls away, the enabling and saving falls away. We begin to understand that our need to save, rescue or help anyone no longer serves anyone. The most powerful thing we can do is heal ourselves and examine all the wounds and history we have been carrying and release the old programs attached to it.
Family relationships and friendships are where these shifts are most noticeable. We have patterns of behavior and have settled into certain roles we play. Are we the victim? Are we the rock that everyone turns to? Are we the black sheep? We fall into roles that create relationship dynamics between all the parties involved and as we evolve and choose to step away from these roles, the ripples that go out through the people surrounding us can create tremendous discomfort. For example, I haven’t lived at home since I was 17 years old. I am now 52 and a lot has changed in my life over the course of time. I have done so much inner work, deep peeling back of layers and layers of darkness and pain I had held within me. I have changed my energetic frequency and released all that no longer serves me. That means I love myself unconditionally. I respond in love and have released judgment of the behavior I am observing around me. I have completely detached from everyone in a healthy way and am no longer triggered by the decisions others make about their lifestyle, their core beliefs, or their realities.
I have stepped away from the old patterns of behavior and the thought patterns that held me back. I realized I am worth so much more. I honor my body by feeding it nutritious food and drinking a lot of water. I have elevated my lifestyle and thoughts to reflect love and light. I exercise because I want to honor my body. I surround myself by people who are beautiful inside and out because our mutual vibrations lift each other and support each other. Toxic people have no seat at my table. The people in my life are respectful and kind. I respect myself enough to allow only people who will respond in kind towards me, there are no exceptions because I will not compromise the frequency I hold by surrounding myself with toxic people. I have no judgment around the lifestyle choices of anyone else, I choose to surround myself with people who are aligned and living their best life. Although I have changed drastically, my family doesn’t know who I am, they do not know how I live my life, or about the people I help with my coaching or energy work.
I am heading home this weekend for my nephew’s high school graduation. I will be around many family members, some of whom have far different values from me. I used to be triggered by this in the past. I used to feel judged and less than, but I have released all the negativity surrounding this. I know who I am and what I have come into this life to do. I am completely empowered and not in a fuck you kind of way. I am fully aligned with who I am as a person, I have no need to persuade, convince, or bend to the will of anyone. My silence speaks for itself. I refuse to engage in any conflict and I hold space and send love when I feel judgment. The old me loved to rise to the bait, engage, challenge, and win. The new me allows all to be who they are, accept what is, remove judgment about the journey of those around me, and know that my integrity and living from my heart is my super power. It takes two to create conflict. I have zero expectations of being understood. I have no need to discuss my work, which makes my family uncomfortable. I will just enjoy my time and go with the intention of a beautiful visit.
The time is now to take the high road. We can choose to rise above adversity and chaos because are responsible for our actions and reactions to the things happening around us. We can respond as our old selves and slide back or we can with clarity and purpose show up as the highest version of ourselves and move forward. We no longer need to nurse old wounds, hurts, or patterns of the victim mindset. We can lead by example even if the people around us aren’t quite ready to embrace the change. If you slide, there’s always another opportunity to rise. One day at a time, the sun will rise tomorrow and you can rise with it.