The New Year brings with it the promise of change. It brings hope and a renewed commitment to improving our lives. A mental inventory of what went wrong last year and commitment to change promises to bring transformation. Gym memberships are up, bar tabs are down. Produce sales are up, junk food sales are down. I honor the enthusiasm and optimism January brings, but what about addressing the core issue, the inner dialogue about who we are and the emotional story and behaviors we have been wash rinse repeating for decades? To create the greatest impact, we must change the beliefs around who WE ARE in addition to changing what we do.
Real change requires going deep within ourselves. What did this year trigger for us emotionally? What kind of challenges did we face? What have we overcome? What were the lessons learned from adversity? Although life is grand when we are sitting on a beach somewhere with cabana boys bringing us umbrella drinks, the most powerful growth and transformation comes from what we experience as suffering. The trick is to not get trapped there. Suffering is the gateway and catalyst for change not a permanent residence. It’s the key gifted to us to unlock doors to higher levels of consciousness. The suffering is the Universe telling us it’s time to heal the wounds and clear our karmic past. Now is the moment to choose ourselves over all others. It’s time to honor our values and our truth, to step off the merry go round and find solid ground.
In the darkness surrender and find the light. As all things end, new pathways open for creation and new beginnings. Relationships end, others begin. It’s the turning of a page at the end of the chapter and finding a fresh page yet to be written in the story of our life. The ending is the door that allows us to step through to new beginnings (relationships, jobs, financial circumstances). The dark is merely the inner compass creating awareness that something must change. Resistance to the process creates thought patterns that feel hopeless. It’s the belief that there is no way out. There is always a solution for every situation, sometimes it’s right in front of us, but the internal dialogue and excuses cloud the truth.
Surrender and release fear. Fear keeps us constricted and small. Our thoughts are limited when we dwell in fear. Fear drives the need to control everything which we have no control over. We get in our way. The walls go up, ability to reason goes out the window. We turn to external things to self soothe and make excuses as to why we must remain the same. We have total control over our lives and we possess everything we need to change our circumstance. The only thing stopping us is the belief that we are powerless. Start with LETTING GO of limiting beliefs, resistance, and excuses. OWN where you are and how you got here. How you landed here in this exact circumstance is irrelevant, accept it, release the judgment around it and use that energy towards finding a solution. Surrender and KNOW that you are going to be OK and the answers will come. Take one step forward and focus on today. That one step could be simply acknowledging how you got here without the filter or judgment.
Change your mind around who you are. Everything we believe about ourselves becomes truth simply because we attach emotion to our thoughts. Our actions (based on our thoughts and emotions) create circumstances that reinforce the story. Instead of having a fleeting thought about not achieving something or making enough money and allowing it to pass, we make decisions that reinforce the story of not achieving our goals or making enough money. The same is true if we respond to relationships in ways that confirm our story of not being loved or not being enough. Our behavior (which stems from that emotional story) creates the exact reality confirming those beliefs and feelings. It’s a vicious cycle perpetuated by our minds, manifesting in action, resulting in a reality confirming the original thought. To powerfully change our life, we must embrace the truth around who we are. The BELIEF must change as well. Once we accept that we are far more powerful and worthy than we thought, love ourselves completely, and know that we hold that god spark within, everything is possible.
It takes time to unwind the stories and release the shame of the past. We’ve all had to face ourselves at one time or another. We’ve all responded to people, circumstances and loved ones as less than our Barbie best (from a place of fear). Maybe we’ve held silent resentments towards someone because we aren’t seen or valued, or we feel the need to somehow “complete” and “support” the other at our own expense. Maybe we haven’t had the courage to find our voice and speak our truth and be who we are meant to be. Perhaps we have spent a lifetime being the person we were expected to be and dimmed our light. It’s OK. There’s still time! We have come to a point in our human evolution where truth and light are starting to seep through the cracks. Once upon a time we were able to stuff and bury ourselves emotionally, but now things are rising to the surface in powerful and persistent ways, almost to the point where we can’t for another moment deny who we are. This is the gentle push or hard shove in some cases, to be our authentic selves. It takes courage as the people around us want us to be who they need us to be. Expect resistance.
Be gentle with yourself and allow the unfolding. Trust the process and know that you are not alone. Ask the Universe, God, your higher self, or whoever you feel you can call on to assist you as you navigate these shifts and changes. Seek out mentors and find a community that supports and accepts you for who you are. Know that you are loved beyond measure and all will be well.